The Shadow Vault

Life is Life

Yeah... And it just keeps on going and going. I have been thinking about things to make out of metal for my project(the one I am going to do, but don't need pressure to get done, or suggestions) , and I think that I havn't got that much of a clue of what to do.I guess a little table would work,but I don't know if I have the proper supplies to make it... well, not EXACTLY how I think of it, but thats just which metal to use. Yeah,its not that great of an idea either, just a simple table. Yeah... anyway.

I guess I am doing an 04-hour comic tonight from 6:00 to 10:00, so expect an upload of comic around then. it should be better than last time. It should be morecolorful,and more... organised. Plus, I do notplan or jumping around quite like that again. I also think I will do the panels more like The Eye Comic(which doesn't have any useable links right now. Can't really seeit right now... sorry, when I have time, I will work on that.) So... yeah... comics = good!

-Neo

Spring Vacation in Winter

I keep changing my attitude really quickly and unexpectedly. manic? heh, i'm sure its not.

Anyway... yeah, so. both last night and tonight, my family seemed to be telling me what i should do whith my free time. I just feel like I am not a person, i'm just like, a slave. I always feel like that when i'm here. here in Pine. PINE the place I have ALWAYS thought of as the... hmmm... center... uhh... the.. the... uhh, I don't know... but, the epicenter of all unhappiness the epicenter of... of... work, of forced pointless work. it was opkay for awhile. just uncomfortable, but I keep getting more and more comfortable,and I guess comfortable means I can start to be made to work. But... well... they havn't actually made me work any... but they act like that I havn't worked on any metalwork to sell is something horrible. And... its just so dumb here. And 'spring break' is comming up after next week. and I don't want to spend two weeks here suceptable to god knows what projects they want me to do. Mostly they want me to do something to sell... and they act like it is going to effect them, they at like they will be hurt if I don't do it, when in reality, its just that I won't have any money on hand. And... well... I am the kind of person that will do something if someone else wants me to more than i willif I want to. If it effects someone else, and hurts them, I will care.I don't care about me, I careabout anyone else. BUT... this is... stupid... I feel like it will hurt them because thats what they act like it is, but I KNOW it will only effect me... and... thats mean. I just want to be left to do what I want to do. no pressure to do things. no stress... school is stressfull enough! Plus I was sick and have to deal with all my fucking makeup work. I spend 7 hours at school. I spend 1 hour commuting to and from school, I spend 7 hours sleeping, 1 hour eating... thats... 16 hours... which is 8 hours for other things. 2 of them I spend in the morning on exercise and waking up and breakfast and shower and all that stuff. that 6 hours left. Then i am SUPPOSED to spend some doing homework. at least one. so thats 5. and then there is waiting for dinner after school. thats an hour I can't really do anything long-term... ive been getting better. So, ive got like 5 hours a day that aren't taken up by anything I am obligated to. So... well... I WANT TO USE THEM TO RELAX!!! I want to listen to music, play games, do... FUN STUFF.... So I do,but... I feel like they want to make me feel guilty about relaxing., my dad has always been like that. its just so stupid.
Oh,and then you have weekends. Weekends are interesting too... See, I can sleep in on weekends, and nobody will disturb me till noon... and then I can go down and eat breakfast/lunch, but once I go eat, unless I can sneak around, and not be seen, then I am suceptable to... well, whatever work there is... and recently its been work up here. and so thats unavoidable! I don't want to work on the weekends. I get 5 hours a day to relax, which I don't get all of to relaxing, sometimes I have other stresses getting in the way there... and I have... like, 9 hours of stress a day... and... thats just bullshit. I don't need that crap. I just want to do the stuff I have to do. the fucking school itself is enough. I don't even need SUGGESTIONS that I should be doing something else. Its...like... torture. I feel like I should spend all my time eating, sleeping, or working. its like... sleep should be enough relax for you.

Maybee i should be nocturnal. ive said it before. ishould go to bed right after dinner at 5:00 or whatever, or just make my own "dinner" at 3:30 PM and then go to bed and wake up at like 11:00 PM. then stay awake till 3:30 PM comes around again, that way, I am never home and awake when my dad is, and then my dad can never pressure me to work more. And then I don't have to eat dinner with my family, and not have to have them talk to me about work or cake or whatever they want me to do.

Well... i'm just an overreacting teenager. twice doesn't make a pattern.

sorry.

wasting your time.

G-Nite

So Much To Do

Yeah, so, posting again. Nobody really reads my stuff anymore, but nobody WILL till I start posting. And its gotta be good stuff too, which, i'm not sop sure I can produce in this format. Yeah... but, like, ive got a lot of stuff I want to do/have to do/am doing, and I am so lazy. So, last friday, I was sick with some... well... lets phrase it as 'stomach bug' which... was just... torturous. I tried to go to school, not realising how bad it was, and it was SO bad that I had to go home early... even though it was a short day anyway! yeah, so then I was sick all day that day, but fine satureday and sunday, but on monday! wow, monday was WORSE than friday! AND, it was snowing so the bus didn't pickup anyway. But... yeah... so then tuesday I go to school and find out AIMS testing(the standardized test for my state) is that day and the next day,and I am supposed to retake it... which takes away my lunch hour and my 5th hour. SO that causes me to miss 4 days straight in my 5th hour... so... I have plenty of homework there. AND two of my classes, I have tests to take in. AND I live 15 miles from school, so i can't stay after school or come early to take the tests,so the only time is LUNCH which I DIDN'T have for 2 days! So,I am like... uughhhh... So, I had to take one test today, after those stupid AIMS tests, which I don't have to pass to graduate but have to take till I pass or graduate(the class after me has to pass to graduate) and tomorrow I have to take another test during lunch. And I need to get signed up for classes next year... which is a whole other story.

Yeah, so, I found out about a technology class... its Technology Survey something or another. I can't remember. And I had to apply to get in, and I am supposed to have a 3.0 or better GPA, but I have the teacher first hour for English, so he decided to let me in despite my grades as long as the rest of this year I pass all my classes, and next year I keep a 3.0 GPA for the classes I am in then. So, I need to be dilligent. ugh, not fun... Yeah, so, for school, I have to pick 6 classes I want to be in, and an alternative in care one of the classes isn't open. And then ontop of that, i have to have 2 more alternatives in case I can't get into the tech class,or get dropped fromit or something... well... problem is... I can barely find 6. Really what I chose was... the 2 required core classes, the 2 hours or the tech class, drafting, and intro to drawing. see... well... ive been avoiding those two classes for 3 years now because I am interestedin them,but don't want to take a danged class on them. But... well... the options all...kinda... suck a LOT uuughhghhhh... Yeah, so, like... Drafting is among my first options because it is marginally better than intro to acting... which is my first alternate... but... intro to acting is like VASTLY better than... well... anything else on the thing... so... i'm like... they all suck pretty much equally, so... just give me whatevers open... but thats how I felt this year when I signed up, and thats why I am in the blowoff class of Animal Sciences... yeah...

totally different subject: I want to do a comic. I don't know what though... I was thinking of maybee doing more Eye comics, but... that started out dumb,and got dumber... so, I havn't a clue what i should do it on.I am thinking some sort of somehting about some sort of strange anthropomorphised inanimate object like... lint, or... well... its hard to say what... (please leave suggestions in comments) And I have no clue what they will do, but it will be funny.
I'm hungry. and...and... yeah.... anyway... have a jolly day.

Working on New look

I recently decided to change the way my BLog works, and so now I am testing stuff, and I realised there were no recent posts, and so I needed to post one so that I could see how the most recent posts page(http://sv.modernevil.com) works. Hopefully its already just fine.

Oh, and I am planning on posting a bit again, but... who knows how that will work. We will see.

On another subject, I am getting more and more not depressed!

Yeah....Riiight... we will see... I am supposed to start exercising on the Bowflex every morning now.