The Shadow Vault

Super Bowl-NOT abducted by aliens... lost bets!

So, i bet basically everyone I knew that niether team would win the super bowl due to alien abduction... I didn't see it, so they can't really prove that I didn't win... and nobody recorded it(not legal, and they don't care) but I apparently didn't win any bets, or any moeny... I woulda gotten like... a coupe hundred bucks from that too. darn... anyway, nobody is trying to collect on those bets, so im good. Ive got no defence for if they try to though :)

Well, I was really hoping... im sure it would have been shown on TV... i thought it was worth a shot... but, guess it missed, got nothing else to day, byebye.

Others Mistakes

Okay, so I know that people want me to make the right choices, and I know that everyone wants me to hang around the 'right people'... Now, i want to know how good of choices they made with thier friends... No, not the best choices, all made stupid choices... now, i know they just want to let me be happier by not letting me make these stupid choices, BUT, if they think back on it, they all know that they felt it was the best choice at the time, and that no matter what anyone said, they thought it was right. So, the only purpose then for these comments is the 'I told you so' factor in the future. Plus the current effect of making me not happy.

Seeing as all they did was insult the person I am supposedly dillusioned at being in love with (it is a well known fact you cannot love untill you are of a certain age... although this number has not been disclosed to me by anything other than "older"...). And so, with the insult of her, they apparently missed the point of "I feel like I love her", and the idea of defending those who you love. I know I should go to people face to face with this, or it would have taken REAL full effect if i had said it as the insultation og her was going on... saying somthing like 'I really do not appriciate you insulting this girl, can you please stop' but I am a fucking chiken shit(as she would say, in fact...) and I can not make myself say things as bold as that.
And as for those of you who want to know why the hell I am under the impression that i love this girl, I can definetly tell you:
We complete eachothers sentances
the feeling I get from just a simple kiss fropm her
the fact that she is the most important thing in my life
how much i cannot let her go no matter how much I try to convince myself that she hurts me
the fact that i am writing this here, and not chickening out.
that we know eachother so well that we actually will very very commonly say the exact same thing at the exact same time.
and a lot because I have a hard time living a day without seeing her or speaking to her.
(if ANYONE critisises me about this list, I WILL quit typing here, and quit saying anything about any of my opinions to anyone, and most definetly cry, i know I am a fucking stupid teenager who just thinks he is in love, but isn't really because he doesn't know what love is because he has no fucking experience with it, and is in his first relationship, and can most probnably have any of the above feelings or emotions ar coincidences with any girl on the planet of the earth if given the time)

Another thing that will come up is that: 'You know... many of these things may be your replacements for what your mother was for you, and you are just so fucked in the head that you are imagining these emotions with her to replace the ones that you SHOULD have with your mother.' And my response to that is... oh well, so what if it is? so what if all I ever want in any girl is a replacement for my mother, its still what I want and feel, and what makes a person is thier expiriences, and so, this loss being an expirience, what i feel due to that is perfectly acceptable as me. And besides, i am just a stupid teenager under the impression that something real will ever come of this, and so it will be over within... a year, and so none of this will ever matter.

So, in the end, all I am saying is that she is who i choose to be with right now, and I do not enjoy your insultations of her.


Would you rather not know?

Unhappy Entertainment

"You can't be anywere without parents for very long."

Okay, well, so I can't go over to Kelli's, and Mike is out most of the time.. plus him and I aren't getting along muvh.. and then Adam is either not home, already has friends comming over, isn't allowed to have friends over(same reason i can't go anyway... no parents), or whatever... I havn't really asked him much, but eery time I have, he said I couldn't.

So then... I have to go home.

"If you play video games for too long, your brain will rot."
Skrew you. I have nothing else to do!!! I don't even WANT to be playing this game, i wanty to be w/ kelli, or even Mikes, he is kind of entertaining, and Adam, he is lots of fun! I play this fucking game for two hours because Kelli is buisy, and I can't talk to her... Mike is too, and Adam isn't that much fun on the phone... So... yeah, this game is getting boring(BTW, its Warcraft III) It WAS fun... but then... when you play way too long, and you are really good, and can't skip to the harder levels, and then you are thinking of what you would MUCH rather be doing... its really quite boring... All I have wanted to do all week is spend some time with Kelli. I don't care about what we are doing, I would enjoy anything... well, I would ike to play the mortal Kombat game she rented, or Fusion Frenzy or somthing, or just play any game she LIKES WITH her.
BUT none of this is possible... sorry, no can do, you have to live with staying home and playing video games... woo! I guess I wish i hadn't accquired friends, then i would still think there is nothing better than playing video games for hours on end...
another thing is that nobody is ever home.. i ahve home for like 2-4 hours alone every day, and I get lonely and bore, and it is quiet, and... yeah, I am not around people I want to be around for the majority of the day, hell, I don't do anything I want to o with people for more than sixty-eight minutes a day(fifty mins in lunch and six three minute passing periods)... so, yeah... well, except when i feel like playing w/ Kalvin and Garret... Which isn't likely after a day of being alone and becoming more and more unhappy with reality. Well, so, in other words, i am unhappy about the way that my life has developed into having nearly no socialization... anyway... this is just up here because I wanted to complain about it, and because I was told I shopuld be honest and tell the world or somthing.... a possible form of therapy I suppose, we will see.

WarCraft Three

So, for my birthday, Mike gave me a stack of Warez games... I had to get a serial code, and then get a crack for the exe to get it to work... I eventually did, and spent a crazy amount of time playing it. So then, I wanted to play w/ tyhe map editor, but that had the same problem as the exe did before I cracked it, so i was mad, and wasn't happy.
Now, my Dad(and I assume Angela) give me this box... whih just happens to be... WarCraft III! Well, i am, very very happy! I love RTS's, and now I get the hole thing, and then i LOVE having boxes, for no reason... I have a box fettish i suppose... packratness :) So then, its also got a book of sketcheas, and its got lithogrms of all the images from the box covers, whioch is awesom, because I have always enjoyed how Blizzard did that... having different boxes for the same game for variety... Well, so that is fun! Oh, and the book of sketches is awesome too, since I really enjoy concept art. Thats is al really really happy :) :-D

Sixteen? Older?

woo...

I ma now sixteen.

AND I STILL CAN'T FUCKING TYYPE!

I don't feel any older... cold mostly... and I kinda have to pee.

grr, damn school. And I just want to spend more time with kelli... ever... I just saved her from certain doom, and she was very thankfull, she forgot how mean I was at lunch. I am glad... I did kinda apologise enough for the aschool thing anyway, but yeah, I made it up to her by saving her from the wrath of her stupid friends. Sorry if this doesn't make sence... if I keep posting, it will :) I have nutzo friends is all you need to know... They also all entirely lack the ability to relax when anything remotely bad is happening... which basically means they are relaxed for about 3 hours a week... silly people.