The Shadow Vault

I can't say for father and his father, but when I encourage you to do stuff that will make money it is (mostly) because you are an unbalanced equation. You see, on one side you talk about the things you want to do, the things you want to have, the places you want to go, and these all cost money. Not ridiculous amounts of money, but they all cost money. On the other side, the side that doesn't balance with the first side, is you, not doing anything or making any effort, or even wanting to make nay effort to actually earn any money. Personally, I don't care how you earn the money as long as it is legal. I recommend that you find something you like doing, if possible, as that will make the money-earning that much less annoying and stressful - you'll be doing something you like. ie: if you say you like metal-working, I will recommend that you do that for money.

There is another reason that I try to encourage you to find something you like doing that will make you some money; you do not want to live with your family forever, or even very long. In order to get away at all, you will need money and in order to get money you will need to work at some point. You'll be a lot happier doing something you enjoy than something you hate. Find out what you enjoy doing, figure out how to make it pay, and do that. Or at least try.

I don't know if Iain has read this far, but if he has, I'd love for him to comment about how he'd feel if he had five hours EVERY DAY to even THINK about relaxing in. Or if Zoe has read this far, maybe he can let you know about what it's been like working as a janitor this week, just to literally keep food on his family's table, and how much free time he has between working, looking for better work, and the "forced, pointless work" that he has to do to maintain the house he owns, whenever it comes up, no matter what else he wants to do.

Most people who know me WISH they could have a life like ours, where after normal occassional property/facility maintenance and familial obligations they had the freedom to do whatever they wanted to to try to make a living, to work with their hands, to work creatively and freely, without a boss or a cubicle or a mortgage to worry about. Or even just to be a teenager again, with the opportunity to start down a road where they are doing something they care about and/or like to do instead of having been forced to take whatever was available to them at the time and hoping they could stand it.

Don't complain about having a family that supports you pursuing something you have said you enjoy doing as a potential career. Don't complain about having nearly a full quarter of every day without a concern or responsibility in the world. If metal-working isn't what you want to do, don't do it - but figure out what you DO want to do, and DO IT! You will probably never get paid to "Relax", but maybe you can get the money to do the things you want (such as moving far, far away from here) doing something you enjoy. If you wait too long, it will be very hard to find an opportunity like this again.

I agree and disagree. When we were teenagers we didn't HAVE to think about what we wanted to do to make money. You didn't get a job at all untill you were 18. On the one hand I can see that you are trying to help Heath to have a better start and be prosperous and all, but on the other hand you didn't appreciate being pushed to do things that others thought you should do and neither does he. In commenting to this at all I fear that I will be adding to the problem, and I do not want to do that, and I want Heath to keep posting without fear of how it will be percieved because I wonder if that is part of the long hiatus he took from posting. With that said, I do wish to see Heath with great ambitions and plans and to take advantage of opportunities to have an easy, happy life, but after all I know that at 17 I felt that I had plenty of time to conquer the world and I just wanted to hang out with friends and enjoy being a teenager, because that is a fleeting age. You get a couple years to be old enough to have some freedom and be wierd and silly and young enough to not have to think of mortgages and groceries etc. so enjoy it while it lasts. Heath has more troubles than many teenagers (and less than some) so maybe that's enough for him to deal with? Maybe he needs some time and space to deal with his world as it is and not have to worry that the world will collapse if he doesn't figure everything out just yet. I know that everyone is just trying to help and wants the best for him, but maybe in trying to help him taking pressure off instead of putting it on would be better.

I didn't work because my plan was to go to school for eight or twelve years on the government's dime. I was at least aware of the fact that my choices were school or work.

Heath has said many, many times that he will not be going to college right out of high school. He has also said that he will be moving out as soon as he is 18/out of high school. Which, unless I'm missing something, means he either better have money by the time he reaches that point, or is going to have to get a no-skill job when he does. This is simply reality, based on his choices.

Oh, yeah, and when I was a teenager and not working, I knew it meant I wouldn't have money so I didn't bother wanting things that cost money. No car, no fancy computer or computer games, no going out all the time. I could see that the answer to wanting things was to get a job, I didn't want to get a job, so I stopped wanting things. You remember how hard it was to shop for me for birthdays and Christmas, right? Because I didn't want anything. Because I didn't want to work.

Heath, on the other hand, wants things. So it's put up or shut up.

Yeah, I want things, and I say I want them, but I don't have them because I don't work. That doesn't mean I will stop WANTING them, that just means I can't have them. Its not like its something evil to want things when you have no means to get them, especially if you are aware you can't have them right now. I know I can't have it, but I want it anyway, and I say what I want to say, so I say I want them. From my allowance, which dad has NOTHING to do with earning the money for, I would only be $10 short of the winter camp trip I want to go on, and I can get him to lend me that ahead of time, but he is saying he wants to pay for it. Its not like I am even ASKING for the money, HELL, I told him I could pay for it, and he said I didn't need to. And if I didn't have the money, and he didn't want to give it to me, and the church couldn't give/lend me the money, then I would just not go. I would be unhappy, but I simply wouldn't go, and I would know why. And then I would be angry at myself for not working, but that would be MY problem.
And as for your fucking ADULT friends who wish they could have what 'we' have, guess what, I’m SEVENTEEN I don't have to deal with family, or any of that crap right now. They envy YOUR life, they had the freedom I have now, or MORE. THEY LIVED IN A CITY!! I live in a freaking VILLAGE! Maybe I should go hang out with people... the things to do in groups are: Play games, Bowl(that takes going 15 miles tho), have sex, or do drugs. Hmmm... Sounds like a GREAT place to live, eh? and dad complains that I play too many games, look at my other options? I worked on this BLog, and I do more homework than I have since I started high school. I am posting on here because there’s nothing else to do. yes. I wish i had more free time/didn't have pressure to use it to make money, but, well... maybe more time would be bad, since there is nothing to do.
Sorry, I’m off topic...
But, yeah, also, if I were to spend my time working instead of relaxing, then I would quit wanting because I wouldn't have the time to use anything I buy, so... well... no... I won't spend more of my 5 hours free time on work than I HAVE to. Sure, I will spend some of my weekends working, but only when I feel like it. it should be MY decision to work on my projects, and I shouldn't be pressured. once i feel like doing the projects, i will, and before then, I won't, and all pressure will do is make me unhappy about doing them. I often think about what to do for the projects, but I haven’t come up with something good yet, and all i hear is Dad says lamps or chandeliers, Teel says to do a table or a lamp or whatever i want, and Grandpa says to do doorbells. And that’s all the suggestions possible to procure from this group, so they don't need to freaking keep repeating them! Yes, yes, yes!!! I KNOW you think I should do a lamp or a chandelier or a table or a doorbell, if you don't have something NEW to say, then don't freaking BOTHER! Our conversation last night consisted of that i should do something, probably one of those things, till I started getting upset, at which point it turned to that I should do ANYTHING I want, which i think I can assume is because of the reason that I was getting upset, not that people don't care what I do as long as it sells. People want me to do what THEY want done, not anything for me. Teel seems to be the closest to actually caring what I want (besides April, definitely, but she wasn't in THAT conversation), and Teel is just putting pressure on me to work, even though I don’t really have time. Sure, I blow off the weekends, but I treat those as full days of free time, time to spend a whole day relaxing, but, soon, I should manage to actually get some work done on it. I just haven’t had the combination of plans and willpower to do it. Oh, and I think I want to somehow either spend two weekends in phoenix, or go there the tenth or ninth (so I can spend the tenth there) and then be there for the tenth and eleventh and twelfth, when I will leave after school or whenever the church leaves for the trip to Prescott (once I contact the youth leader today, I will post about it.) So that way, I can have time away from here, just because it’s so cold and this place has its awful vibe of unhappiness. And that way I can make sure I have time to schedule in getting to April for a haircut *somehow.* Anyway, I think that’s all for now. I shall leave you to fighting over who wants me happier now.